


To be seen by you

by purpa



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: F/F, Friendship/Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 03:07:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29569359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purpa/pseuds/purpa
Summary: 'Before changing her face into the stoic expression she normally wore, Kieu My was noticed. Fatou had looked at Kieu My quickly enough to see one of her secret smiles and Kieu My cursed herself for it. She even felt warmth creep on her neck and hoped it did not show on her cheeks.'A retelling of Kieu My and Fatou's story from Kieu My's point of view.
Relationships: Fatou Jallow & Kieu My Vu, Fatou Jallow/Kieu My Vu
Comments: 37
Kudos: 112





	1. Paper and Glue

That Saturday had been busy at the shop. Kieu My was more than exhausted and wanted nothing but to go home, take a shower and sneak under her warm sheets. She might even watch _Train to Busan_ again and ask Danny to join. Yes, it was a cheesy zombie movie, but she loved it so much. Watching it with her little brother was always so much fun and Kieu My had already accepted that she had a soft spot for these kinds of movies. She didn’t care that Constantin made fun of her because of it.

‘Kieu My, honey, can you go downstairs and bring some bread from the fridge please? The shelves are almost empty.’

Her father’s soft voice woke her from her dream and she nodded. It would give her a break. It was close to 8 pm and she knew that she only had to push through just a little more. She had studied diligently all week long and she had no homework due. All she would have to do tonight and tomorrow would be to sleep. Zoe could come over and they could hang out too, but Kiey My knew it would probably not happen. Since she had started being friends with the others, it was all her friend could think about. She had almost no time for Kieu My too.

Kieu My climbed the stairs with a frown on her face and aggressively loaded the bread on the shelves. It was only when she saw her expression on the big mirror on the wall that she realized she had let her anger show. She also noticed she looked like a mess. But she would have to ignore that. She breathed in and out and relaxed her face. When she turned to tell her father she had finished with the bread, she was abruptly shoved by someone she had not seen coming.

‘God, I’m sorry!’ The teenager said with a worried expression on his face. ‘ I didn’t see you without my glasses. Here...’ 

Kieu My took his hand and glared as she was brought back to her feet smoothly. Her father was behind the counter, watching and pleading with his eyes to stay polite. She didn’t know why he always did that. It wasn’t like Kieu My wasn’t polite. She was their daughter, was she not?

‘It’s fine,’ she said awkwardly. She had just spotted someone behind the teenager. A girl Kieu My had seen multiple times at their school. The girl had been looking at Kieu My too, with a curious expression on her brown eyes. 

‘Are you sure?’ The teenager said calmly. ‘I’m pretty strong for my age haha.’ Kieu My stared at him. He had kind brown eyes, just like the girl behind him. They must have been siblings.

‘Yes, I’m good,’ she said. ‘Don’t worry. Did you need help with anything?’ Kieu My saw her father relax from where she stood and had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes. 

‘I don’t! But actually... my sister does. Ehm, Fatou?’

So they were siblings after all. Kieu My couldn’t help but smile to herself. She was pretty good when it came to these things. She would always play this game with Danny when they were in public, where they had to guess who were siblings and who were not. It could get weird because Danny would often guess wrong and say _siblings_ when they were in fact a couple. Kieu My would laugh at him and he would scowl, saying that lots of people searched for a person who looked like them, but what did he know? He was 9 and Kieu My had never once looked at a boy who looked like her that way. This proved him wrong. But it was also true that Kieu My did not look at boys too often…

‘Sorry,’ Kieu My said clumsily when she noticed she had not been listening properly to the girl. ‘Could you repeat?’

Instead of frowning or sighing, the girl laughed softly, her entire face lighting up. Her laughter sounded so sweet and out of place. It was a Saturday night, close to 8 pm in a small shop, and as it was raining outside and Kieu My had just admitted to not paying attention, the only thing the girl did was laugh. It surprised Kieu My.

‘It’s fine…’ Fatou said softly. She had a voice like Kieu My had never heard before, too. ‘I was looking for glue.’

Kieu My made a face. ‘Glue?’

‘I know,’ the girl said with a small voice, the same sweet voice. ‘It’s for our science project. Er… I need glue and paper. Oh! With colours.’

Kieu My knew which project she was speaking of. It was a project they had been assigned to two weeks ago in their science class. They had to present a vertebrate and create small posters with information about their evolution and classification. Kieu My had chosen to make it on birds since she had always liked the idea of flying in the sky, of being able to travel distances and still come back home at the end of the journey. And of course, she loved the idea of spending an entire life watching the stars...

‘Isn’t this project due on Monday?’ Kieu My said without thinking. 

‘Is it?’ The brother frowned. ‘Fatou, I thought you said you still had time!’

Fatou frowned and Kieu My smiled to herself again. So she could frown too, and get annoyed at her brother. Even with her sweet voice and her kind eyes, it seemed like every brother could get this sort of reaction out of their sisters. Kieu My herself knew that much.

‘I do have time Ilai…’ Fatou said slowly. ‘Monday is so far away...’

‘It’s in one day!

Fatou smiled innocently. ‘Two if you count today’

‘Do you?’ Ilai crossed his arms. Kieu My thought they all knew the answer to that.

‘I do...I do.’ Fatou bit her lips nervously.

‘Right, that’s why you don’t have any scissors, paper or glue? But I suppose the project is all done on your laptop though?’

Kieu My felt bad for Fatou but she truly couldn’t help the smile on her lips. This scene somehow made her think of Danny and how she would often give him this talk. This had to be something unique to older siblings too. 

Before changing her face into the stoic expression she normally wore, Kieu My was noticed. Fatou had looked at Kieu My quickly enough to see one of her secret smiles and Kieu My cursed herself for it. She even felt warmth creep on her neck and hoped it did not show on her cheeks.

‘We-We don’t sell that here,’ she said trying to save face. ‘But... I do have some glue and paper left from my project in my bag? And we have a pair of scissors downstairs too.’

‘Really?’ Fatou said with a brilliant smile, as if Kieu My had offered her the moon.

Kieu My lowered her head awkwardly. This was such an indiscreet proposition. ‘Sorry. I'd like to give something new, but the other shops will close soon. So I thought I would offer this anyway.’

‘It’s really generous of you, thank you.’ Ilai said with a warm smile.

‘Maybe you could go to another shop tomorrow if you need more?’ Kieu My added. ‘Hum, I mean of course you know that already. Sorry...’ 

Kieu My knew that her face was red at this point because she felt hot all over. It was just embarrassing. Not only did she look like a mess, but she had to sound like this, so unsure, for something so insignificant. Couldn’t she have said no and moved on? Couldn’t she have shut up?

‘This is so nice,’ Fatou smiled. ‘Thank you. It means a lot to me.’

‘Yes,’ Ilai said. ‘Thank you. So now, Fatou, you won’t need to go out tomorrow and can concentrate on this project entirely. You are lucky.’

‘Yeah’ Fatou laughed honestly. ‘Lucky I met you today.’

‘I will… I will go fetch it.’ 

Kieu My went downstairs quickly, her face still warm and tingling. She fetched the multiple packages of coloured paper, the glue and a pair of scissors. As she came upstairs, Kieu My heard Fatou and her brother talking with her father about the weather. Without thinking about it, Kieu My went downstairs again and grabbed her umbrella. She would share her father’s to their car and to their apartment and Fatou and Ilai could share this one.

‘Okay,’ Kieu My said upstairs, somewhat with a shy pout. ‘I have four packages of paper of different colors. I only needed two for my posters so I think it will be enough. The bottle of glue is three quarters full so I don’t think you will need another one. This is the pair of scissors.’

‘Thank you, really!’ Fatou smiled and took the items, their fingers brushing momentarily. She put them in her bag slowly but didn’t look up once she was done. ‘What about this?’

Kieu My had forgotten. ‘Oh, this is my umbrella. You two can share it since it’s raining so much. I heard you … hum… you said the rain took you by surprise. So I thought...’

Ilai smiled. ‘This is too much! We can buy one!’

‘We sold the last one,’ Kieu My said, even knowing there probably were new ones downstairs in the inventory room. It was a lie, but she really did not mind lending her umbrella to Fatou and her brother. She did not think an act like this needed to be paid with money.

‘That’s really nice of you,’ Ilai said. 

‘Thank you. I will give it back to you at school?’ Fatou said unsure. 

Kieu My simply smiled. Fatou smiled right back, her entire face following suit. When the two siblings left, Kieu My realized she had not told them her name. Maybe Fatou would have some difficulty finding her? They did not share any classes together, and there were a lot of 12 years olds in their year. Kieu My shook her head. It would be alright, she remembered the other girl’s name. And although Fatou might forget her completely, Kieu My would not. She did not have any friends like her. None who would smile so often and make her smile secretly that many times too. None who would say thank you the way she did, like every act of generosity was big and worth mentioning.

When Kieu My went back behind the counter to sit next to her father, she found him smiling at her with his tender eyes. He did not need to talk for her to know what he was thinking. He put a proud hand on her shoulder and turned on the radio silently. It was embarrassing how much she loved her dad. 

*

She could not pinpoint when this routine had first started, all that she knew was that it had become quite natural along the way. First she would wake up in her bright bedroom, tired and disoriented. Having worked at her parent’s small shop the previous day, she would have dreamt of utilities, food and money, her body worned out and longing for more sleep. Slowly, she would sit up on her warm bed and look at her phone, where hundreds of notifications would await her. They were mostly from instagram and snapchat, although she had not really used that application in awhile. Depending on whether she had posted a photo the previous day, and she often did, she would get direct messages from guys she didn't care for and comments from friends she barely knew. 

Then she would slowly stand up and look at herself in her big mirror. She would stare at her long black hair, her puffy black eyes, her chapped lips and her disgusting skin. Kieu My in the morning looked nothing like Kieu My in the day. The visceral reaction she felt looking at herself this way always reminded her of why she did what she did, why this routine was so important, why she covered her skin and painted her lips and brushed her hair and chose beautiful clothes everyday. And as much as seeing herself like this pained her, the photos she took and posted online relaxed her. They were a reminder that she could choose to be different and that what stood in front of her did not need to exist, not outside of these four walls anyway.

After a long shower, she would sit in front of her bathroom mirror. From that moment on, she would clean her face with a cleanser, then she would apply a toner and moisturize her skin. For her eyes, she would apply a delicate eye cream, they were sensitive so she would rub it slowly. After the cream came the serum Zoe had given her for her 16th birthday. She would apply it on her face and on her neck. It smelled like rose and like the summer, like a far away beach she’d love to go to one day, but she couldn’t. Not now when she had to help her parents everyday in their small shop. But one day...with Zoe...they would go. Then, she would apply a treatment on her skin for her acne and her pores. Face oil was next. And then sunscreen. 

Once this was done, she would start applying the make up: foundation to mask her pale skin, her pores and acne, concealer to cover her dark circles, powder to give life to her stern tired face, bronzer to help give a certain bone structure to that chubby face , blush to make her feel more alive, a little bit of mascara to create an intriguing look for her eyes and finally pink lip gloss. There. She was done.

She would look in the mirror again and breathe out. She was finally herself. The real Kieu My. She would stand up, a smile on her face, ready to choose her outfit and start her day.

  
  
  



	2. Family is family is family

Time in the Vu family was an abstract concept. Kieu My had just started reading a book about this topic too, how time was not a universal measurement and it depended on many variables. At first, it had been hard for her 12 years old mind to grasp this idea, but watching her family running around the shop on a busy Saturday and relaxing together on a lazy Sunday, she now could perfectly comprehend how the rate at which time passed would differ depending on how fast you went and how much you accelerated. When she was helping her parents in the shop doing the inventory, loading the items and running everywhere serving clients, time would pass by in the blink of an eye! But during days like these, where they were all together in their small appartement, watching a movie and preparing dinner, it seemed like everything was happening in slow-motion. And Kieu My loved it.

‘Dinner is ready,’ her mother’s calm voice came from their kitchen, barely above the laughter coming out of their loud television. 

It was a sunny Sunday and the Vu siblings had too much energy to keep in place. Both Danny and Kieu My jumped in the air and raced each other to the kitchen. Danny sat down first and smiled smugly at his older sister, who had a sour expression on her face.

‘Can’t my kids act like human beings?’ their mother reproached. ‘Why not walk? It seems like I’m living in a zoo sometimes.’

‘Mooooom,’ said Danny. ‘You don’t get it! The first person to sit down wins food privilege of the day!’

Their mother grimaced. ‘Food privilege? What is this that I’m hearing?’

Kieu My’s father had turned off the television and was slowly walking toward the kitchen where his family was waiting for him, all sitting at their usual place. He had this amused expression he always wore on his face when his wife would try to understand their children’s games. 

‘Food privilege, mom.’ Kieu My sighed. ‘It’s when there’s three dumplings for the two of us and we take one each. The one with food privilege that day will have the third one.’

Kieu My saw the way her parents exchanged a surprised glance but she looked away quickly. The table was full of delicious food and all she wanted was to eat. 

‘Why don’t you both share the third dumpling?’ her mother asked her. 

‘Why would we do that ?’ Kieu My responded honestly as she took a piece of bread. ‘It’s easier to just give it to the winner. It gets messy if we try to cut it.’ Kieu My was too hungry to wait and decided to devour the bread unapologetically. 

Her father laughed loudly at her explanation while her mother frowned. 

‘Is this what they teach them at school?’ she scolded her husband in vietnamese. 

‘Let them be, honey,’ he smiled. ‘They are growing up. They will come around.’

‘Me, I just like running!’ Danny yelled. ‘I wouldn’t mind sharing.’

Kieu My crossed her arms and stopped two seconds to think about it. Most of the time they ended up saving the third piece for later and sharing it during the day anyway.

‘I guess I don’t mind sharing too,’ Kieu My said easily. She was surprised to see her mother smile brightly at her and delicately grab her husband’s hand. 

‘I'm happy to hear this, honey,’ her mother said as she put some rice in Kieu My’s plate.

‘It’s just food,’ Kieu My pouted. 

‘It’s more than that,’ her mother said calmly. ‘When you have a family... you should always look after them. This means protecting them when they need help, forgiving them when they make mistakes and sharing all you have with them.’

‘Okay…’ Kieu My scowled. 

‘You are not being grounded, ‘ her father smiled with humor in his eyes. ‘ Mom is explaining to you what love is. Do you understand what mom said?’

Kieu My looked down and nodded as she blushed. She looked up again and saw that her mother and her father were both smiling at each other. It wasn’t like she didn’t know all of this in theory. She wasn’t a child. She could understand time relativity, so of course she understood the importance of a family. Still, couldn't they see that it was hard to apply all these concepts in practice? Well...it did not matter how hard it could be; she would start doing all of these things everyday if it could bring these kinds of smiles to their lips. 

*

‘You were right,’ Zoe murmured to Kieu My quietly, ‘She _is_ back!’

Kieu My felt her entire body going cold. She had seen a post on Frederick’s instagram two days ago where he had tagged Ava at his party, and she had been petrified. Kieu My didn’t follow the other girl on instagram, but she knew that she had been living in the States since last year. It was a cruel thing to think, but that year without her had been such a great year for Kieu My. Mostly because she hadn’t had to feel the guilt in her stomach every time she would see Ava in the hallway or hear her name on Constantin’s lips. 

It had always been so hard to stand next to Ismail and Constantin when they would make fun of Ava, like they used to do all these years. Kieu My had tried to touch the subject once or twice, but she had never really been able to get it out of her system. Had she said anything to Constantin, he would have exploded and probably cut her out of his life for a while, and she did not want that. He was like a brother to her, and she wouldn’t have been able to forgive herself if they were to be separated. Especially not now when he needed her. 

She knew deep down that it was all so wrong, but Ava was stronger than this and Kieu My was not. And mostly, Kieu My knew all too well the importance of looking after her family. One day though, Kieu My would say something. When Constantin’s life wouldn’t be so shitty and when she would find the inner strength she had lost a long time ago…

‘I can’t believe she came back,’ Ismail whispered to the two girls on the bench. ‘You would have thought that America was a better place than this shithole.’

‘Are you crazy? Everywhere is better than America!’ Zoe laughed.

Ismail smiled wickedly. ‘I would love to live there. This is where everything happens, babe. Fashion isn’t created in Berlin!’

Kieu My wanted to throw up. She couldn’t even look at Ava without feeling empty. How could these two joke like this, so easily? Luckily, Ava had found one of her friends at the school entrance and had entered the building. Kieu My looked at her shoes as she thought. 

She would have to get over herself and stop this _guilt_ thing. Ava was much stronger than she gave her credit for. She had always been quite feisty and resourceful. Kieu My remembered how she would snap back at Constantin now and then at that time, something no one else had done before or after her. It was true that Ava had left their school, but who knew what was happening in her life? It might not had anything to do with their group. And even if it had something to do with them, clearly she hadn’t been that affected since she was back.

Yes, Kieu My had rationalized it. Ava did not care like that. They had all been so young back then. Ava had always been strong and able to defend herself. Kieu My had even heard that something was going on with Ava’s family... Surely this was the reason she had left. And now that she was back, she clearly did not care about something that had happened years ago. Kieu My had _got_ to stop being so sensitive. She had learnt her lesson before and knew better than obsessing over things like this. It was childish, irrational and emotional. She had rationalized it already. Why couldn’t she stop thinking about it, then?

She kicked a rock and stood up. 

‘Someone got a cig?’ she glared at her two friends on the bench.

‘Ouch! What’s up with you, miss Vu?’ Ismail asked. ‘You’re looking mad as hell.’

She changed her face quickly to her normal expression. She had to do better than this. 

‘Nothing, I’m just super hungry and want a smoke.’

Zoe had a worried look on her soft features but stood up as well. She searched inside her bag and gave a cigarette to her friend, which she lighted . Kieu My sighed after her first puff. 

‘If Danny could see you,’ Ismail sang. 

‘Shut up about this. You smoke too, drama queen.’ 

Ismail got on his feet and passed an arm around Kieu My's shoulders. 

‘But it looks cool when _I_ do it. When it’s you it just looks so sad,’ he pouted. 

‘I have more style than you ever will,’ Kieu My grinned. 

‘Because I taught you! I don’t see you thanking me!’ 

The three friends made their way towards their school, chatting and throwing silly jabs at each other. By the time they were in front of the door, Kieu My had finished her cigarette. 

‘Where’s Constantin anyway?’ Kieu My asked, unable to suppress the worry in her voice.

Zoe bit her lips and Ismail paled. It was Ismail who spoke next:

‘I don’t think he’s coming today.He texted me last night and it wasn’t pretty.’

If Kieu My could summon the force of one hundred men, she would use it to punch Constantin’s dad in his ugly face. Didn't anyone ever teach him the importance of a family?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kieu My convincing herself basically.


	3. Rainy day...lovely day!

Any other time, Kieu My might not have minded... She enjoyed the sound of raindrops falling on the ground and the smell of wet plants, always so fresh and pleasant, earthy and motherly. But she rarely was late to school, nor was she ever sick. And although it was an embarrassing thing to admit for a girl her age, she disliked missing class and above that, she hated being bedridden. What a waste of a day!

Her mother had always taught her to be careful. She had taught her to not go out without a coat when it was cold, to wash her hands before eating her meals and to practice and respect their traditional medicine without neglecting the western ones... and Kieu My had always listened. So why on earth was she stuck under this bus shelter, waiting for the rain to pass, as she felt her small body getting sick and sicker by the minute? 

She knew why, and it was karma. 

A weird form of it... She had done _one_ good action, and now she was paying the price. This was why she always told herself to stay out of it. Out of arguments, out of complicated situations, out of everything. Because when she smiled, she looked ugly. When she spoke, she sounded stupid. When she gave her opinion, nobody cared. When she laughed, someone would tell her that _it wasn’t even that funny_. And when she tried to help by sharing her umbrella, well... she forgot to ask her mom for another one at home and realized only too late that hers was no longer in her backpack. Now, she was stuck under a stupid bus shelter while her first class had started 10 minutes ago. 

Of course, Kieu My knew that the world did not work this way. There had to be a reason why the universe would repay her like this. It had never been that cruel to her before. And as her father always told her: _Good deeds return to the house of their author._ She understood that well, but right now she had great difficulty believing it.

With a heavy sigh, she decided to leave the shelter and run for it. She would run to the school and hope not to get completely drenched…

Quickly enough, she was soaked from head to toe. But still, she ran. She ran down one empty street, ran past multiple green lights, ran on the small bridge that gave access to that park she’d walk through everyday and soon enough she could see it from afar, her school, standing small. _Finally!_ She smiled at the thought that it would only be another ten minutes of walk.

As she was walking through the deserted park, something caught her eye. Or rather someone… There, under a tree, someone was peacefully sleeping. Kieu My swore that she recognized that specific blue hoodie. She had seen it two days ago in her parent’s small shop after all. Intrigued and a little shocked, Kieu My backtracked, contoured one bench and another, and crouched above the other girl.

‘Fatou?’ She tried curiously. 

The girl quickly jumped up as Kieu My moved out of her space. _It was really her!_ Fatou looked left and right, as if still in her dream and finally, she looked in front of her and saw a confused Kieu My.

‘It’s you,’ Fatou said with her sweet voice.

Kieu My looked up and down. She took in the state of the other girl’s clothes. She was soaked too!

‘What are you _doing_?’ she asked.

‘Ahhh,’ Fatou said, lost and completely unbothered. ‘I fell asleep.’

Kieu My made a face full of reproach. ‘Under the rain?’

The other girl nodded with a warm smile and stood up slowly. Kieu My did the same thing and tugged on her dress to get rid of the new wrinkles, as if she weren’t completely drenched anyway.

‘I didn’t mind that much,’ Fatou gave her a quick glance, then looked away and took her bag from the ground. ‘The trees protected me,’ she had said this while pointing up to the branches above them. Kieu My did not understand which protection she was speaking of, as she was still feeling the rain fall on her body.

She raised one eyebrow and looked at the other girl’s clothes again.

‘Not enough protection... You’re completely wet!’

‘I know,’ Fatou laughed.

Kieu My crossed her arms inquiringly, ‘What about my umbrella?’

She couldn’t believe the other girl! There had to be a good reason for this to have happened to Fatou, _twice._

Fatou stopped a minute to ponder the question and then, as if she had just remembered: 

‘It’s in my bag.’

_In her bag!_ Kieu My slapped her forehead in desperation and covered her face with her hand, not wanting the other girl to see her laugh silently. What a weird thing to do! And a weirder way to react to being soaked! No wonder Fatou had forgotten to bring her own umbrella Saturday. She probably did not mind the rain if she could sleep under a tree in this weather and wake up with the warmest smile of the universe. 

Who _else_ was like this? Kieu My had never, in her 12 years of existence, met someone like her. Wasn’t she petrified of missing the first class? Wasn’t she scared of getting sick? Did she like being stuck on her bed for days? Or did she simply enjoy the sound of the rain and the smell of the earth, like Kieu My did too? It was absurd! And weirdly funny...

When Kieu My got her face under control and removed her hand, she noticed that Fatou was still observing her with her curious brown eyes. _Embarrassing!_ She had thought that the other girl would have looked away by now... like everybody normally did when it came to Kieu My. 

‘Anyway,’ Kieu My said awkwardly as she looked at her shoes and shyly crossed her arms behind her back. 

There was no way that she would look up again. Not when she knew that Fatou would still be watching her for sure: she had done it at the shop and she was doing it now. 

‘We’re super late…’ Kieu My trailed. 

‘Ahhhh!’

Kieu My raised her head against her better judgment to scowl at the other girl. _What now?_ Fatou looked like she had just thought about something very important. She zipped her bag open and removed Kieu My’s green umbrella. Without a word, she opened it and took two steps towards Kieu My, right inside her personal space. Face to face, under Kieu My’s green umbrella, the rain had finally stopped for the two girls. Kieu My felt incredibly warm for the first time that day. 

‘Is this better?’ Fatou asked sweetly. 

Kieu My nodded, her eyes very big. Nobody had ever held an umbrella for her before! Nobody had ever stood so close to her before! It shocked her that this was all she could think about, especially since her father had done both a couple of times to shelter her from the rain. But somehow… it was not the same thing. Not at all. If it were, why did she feel her ears heating up that way and her heart beating that quickly?

She was unable to look away from the other girl’s questioning eyes, even though she knew that she was acting weirdly and unlike herself. Still, she couldn’t look away... Fatou didn’t seem to mind, though. She simply smiled at Kieu My, looked to her right at the falling rain surrounding them and started to make cute little sounds with her mouth. She removed her hand from under the umbrella and played with the rain. It seemed like she had no worries in her own world.

Kieu My stood there, in front of her, simply watching the other girl. She didn’t know which one of them was the weirdest, but she didn’t care. After a while, Kieu My decided that they should probably start walking. She took one step absentmindedly and was immediately followed by Fatou. The smaller girl stayed close to Kieu My in order to shield her from the dense rain.

Kieu My couldn’t stop throwing quick glances now and then towards Fatou who kept looking straight ahead. It was the first time Kieu My had seen such a concentrated expression on the other girl’s face and Kieu My wanted to laugh, but instead, she grinned privately. Fatou had not seen her this time. Her mission of shielding Kieu My seemed pretty important. A little later, Fatou spoke:

‘Hum...What’s your name?’

Kieu My had not introduced herself yet! What a rude thing to do. Her mother would have been disappointed.

‘Kieu My,’ she murmured shamely.

Fatou nodded as she silently repeated Kieu My’s name on her lips. It was enough to make Kieu My smile again. 

‘I’m Fatou, by the way.’

Kieu My stared at her. ‘I know…’ 

‘Oh, right!’

Suddenly, Kieu My paled a little. ‘Have you ever been this late?’ She was getting more and more worried as they approached the school entrance.

‘Uh? Oh… Sometimes.’

‘Will they let us in?’ She asked quietly. Was that a stupid question? It had to be, but Kieu My had never been late before. How was she supposed to know?

Fatou smiled reassuringly. ‘They will note it in a book and then we will have to wait for the next class in a room with a supervisor.’

Kieu My frowned. 

‘What do we do while we wait?’

‘It’s kinda like detention,’ Fatou pouted. 

_Horrible!_

‘We could...stay outside,’ Fatou said, unsure, when she saw the dark scowl on Kieu My’s face at the word _detention._ ‘And sneak in before the second class?’

That sounded interesting. Then, Kieu My wouldn’t get a detention notice on her report. But it also sounded impossible. There were cameras, and supervisors and lots of teachers and no chances of this plan working. As if Fatou had read her mind, she quickly added:

‘There’s this bathroom next to the gymnast on the first floor...The window is really close to the ground and sorta broken from the outside. If we take this route and follow the trees, we can wait and go inside before the bell rings. That’s what I usually do...’

Kieu My was impressed. Had Fatou always been that attentive? She was patiently waiting for an answer. Kieu My sighed. 

‘Okay.’ 

The other girl smiled and took Kieu My by the arm delicately. She changed their direction and Kieu My followed silently. She had never done something like this before. That would be something Ismail would do. Not Kieu My. Maybe Fatou and Ismail could have been friends in another life. 

After one or two minutes of walking that other route under the trees, Fatou stopped.

‘See, this is the window,’ she pointed towards a big window, a meter away from them. The school’s roof was long enough that it would protect them from the rain. This was such a brilliant plan! Kieu My could have hugged the other girl but she only smiled.

‘Now what do we do?’

Fatou smiled back. ‘We can sit and wait.’

‘They’ll still know we skipped,’ Kieu My frowned again. ‘The teacher takes the presence at the start of every class.’

‘Sorry,’ Fatou said.

‘It’s not your fault...I guess this is better than detention and I could say that there was something wrong with the bus if they ever ask.’

‘They usually don’t,’ Fatou reassured.

They both quietly walked under the roof together. Once there, Fatou closed the umbrella and gave it to Kieu My who put it on the ground. Fatou then removed her blue hoodie as Kieu My silently stared. She put the piece of clothing on the muddy tiles but instead of sitting on top of it, Fatou sat right next to it and Kieu My wondered why. She quickly understood why though, as the other girl smiled at her expectedly while patting the blue piece of clothing.

‘Er…’ Kieu My said awkwardly, feeling herself blush slowly. ‘It’s ok!’

‘I don’t mind. My pants are already a bit dirty...Your dress is pretty and clean...And I feel kinda bad that you’re all drenched cos’ of me.’

‘So are you!’

Fatou laughed. ‘But I don’t mind.’

Kieu My hesitated but thought that refusing this act of kindness would be rude of her. So she sat down quietly on the hoodie, aware that her cheeks were still hot and tingling, and circled her legs with her arms. She was right next to Fatou, just like when they were under the umbrella. And just like then, she did not mind at all. _What now? Was this weird for Fatou? Were they supposed to talk?_ She did not know what to do, so she listened to the rain instead. It was pleasant and soothing. She _had_ always enjoyed the sound of raindrops falling on the ground and the smell of wet plants. Ever since she was a small girl. When was the last time that she had properly sat down and looked at the trees, listened to the rain and smelt the fresh earth? It seemed like it was years ago. Some days she felt like she was an adult in a little girl’s body. And some days she felt so, so tired...

Kieu My laughed randomly and saw Fatou look at her with a confused expression.

‘Now our posters are probably all soaked up,’ Kieu My giggled. 

Fatou made a sad face, reminding Kieu My of a puppy. 

‘I’m so sorry Kieu My.’

Kieu My grinned. ‘Mine's probably ok though. I plastified it.’

Fatou’s face beamed with happiness and then she pouted. ‘I didn’t.'

Kieu My laughed at her sudden sour expression. 

‘But you finished yours, right?’ Kieu My tried her best to sound disinterested but she really wanted to know. She hoped the other girl had finished it. She had thought about it a couple of times yesterday.

Fatou nodded with a big smile on her face. ‘Made it on fish.’

Kieu My looked at her shoes and smiled. ‘Fish? I did it on birds...’

‘Oh, I love birds.’

Kieu My laid her face on her knees and glanced at Fatou calmly. 

‘They’re so lucky cos’ they can fly and see stuff we can’t see,’ Fatou added. 

Kieu My smiled knowingly. ‘Like the stars.’

‘Yup. And fish can see stuff we can’t see too. But there’s some scary stuff in the ocean that I don’t wanna see…’

Kieu My shook her head as she laughed. ‘Then why pick them?’

‘I like them. They’re simple and calm. And colorful. Also it’s where we all begun...or...something like that, right?’

Kieu My did not say anything but she was touched somehow. When she had asked Constantin, he had said that he had just picked the animal at random. It was nice knowing that someone else had thought about it. And in a way, Fatou was right… fish had started their whole human experience, and birds would be the next step. Flying... going to the Moon... going to Mars. And who knew what would come next? The prospect of learning about this excited Kieu My.

‘Do you have a phone?’ Fatou asked randomly as Kieu My got lost in her thoughts.

‘A phone? Yes.’

‘Do you wanna watch funny videos?’ 

Kieu My squinted her eyes as she looked at Fatou. Every time someone said these words, she never laughed.

‘I swear they’re funny,’ Fatou laughed sweetly, reading her mind again.

Kieu My was doubtful, but still, she opened her phone and passed it to the other girl.

‘I probably won’t laugh,’ she warned. She didn’t want to hurt her feelings if she didn't. Constantin would always try to find _the_ video that would make Kieu My laugh, but she just couldn’t fake these things. 

Fatou giggled. ‘That’s fine too. We can listen to music.’

‘It’s okay either way.’

Suddenly, Fatou looked up with a worried expression on her face. ‘I think your dad called you. Sorry.’

‘Uh,’ Kieu My closed her eyes and sighed. ‘I’m _sooo_ dead.’

The next thing she knew, Fatou had put a video of a collection of vines on youtube and Kieu My opened her eyes to watch it with her. By the third clip, Kieu My was actually invested in the video. She had even laughed a couple of times too. At some point, she realized that she was no longer soaked and thought that time was passing by pretty quickly with Fatou, even though she wasn’t running around or loading items on the shelves of her parent’s little shop. It seemed like with her, the laws of time did not apply, like the world went both quickly and slowly, which was a perfect balance for Kieu My. 

When the clips were all done, Kieu My took the phone from Fatou’s hand and put a video she normally reserved for her alone time at home since it was sort of embarrassing. But something inside her told her that Fatou would not judge her. 

‘You like space?’ Fatou asked as she saw the video’s title.

‘I guess,’ Kieu My looked down. _Please don’t make fun of me. Please don’t make fun of me._

The other girl smiled openly and looked at the phone again. Kieu My breathed out and made herself comfortable. The bell would ring soon, and they would have to go back to class. This thought somehow made her sad.

It had been a nice morning… Weirdly enough. An unusual one, but very, very nice. Without thinking too much about it, Kieu My untied her long black hair and started delicately detangling it with her fingers, as a voice narrated the video about astronauts spacewalking Earth. 

It was minutes after that, when the video zoomed on planet Earth at night, that Kieu My turned around and saw that Fatou was looking at her. She had probably been looking at her the entire time, Kieu My thought with certitude. Quietly staring at her fingers traveling her long hair, silently observing the way Kieu My frowned and smiled when she discovered new information. As Kieu My’s cheeks started burning once again and as her heart started beating fast in her chest, she looked back at the video and allowed Fatou’s calm scrutiny. Instead of being embarrassed by the knowledge that Fatou was intensely looking at her, Kieu My enjoyed it very much. It was twisted and felt forbidden. It was exciting and new. It was somehow wrong, but Kieu My wouldn’t stop it, not in a million years. 

This was probably the moment that had started it all. At least, that was the moment Kieu My would always recall years later when she thought about the birth of her desire as a teenager. From that point on, Fatou would always steal glances at Kieu My and Kieu My would allow it, enjoying it secretly. Maybe _that_ had been the universe's plan all along.

  
  


*

  
  


The first time she saw them together, Kieu My was surprised to see that Ava had befriended Nora, Fatou and Mailin. Although some part of her felt awkward whenever she laid eyes on the four girls, another part, hidden deep down, felt glad that Ava had found her family. Kieu My had finally admitted to herself that she was not strong enough to face her guilt for now and she did not know when that moment would come. But... she wanted to live. So until then, she would ignore the guilt, walk over it and put on this mask she wore so well. She would take care of _her_ own family and smile secretly to herself when she would see the girls laughing together and hugging each other. 

It didn’t help, though, that everywhere they appeared, Kieu My had to stop herself from looking at Fatou. The other girl had never once hidden her staring... Never. And so, Kieu My would often feel Fatou’s warmth as the other girl observed her. She couldn’t help but think that she had started it all somehow, years ago when they were still little kids. Now, she felt that she needed to take responsability and put a stop to it. But not immediately. It could wait a little longer…

Because right now, Kieu My simply did not have the time for these kinds of complications. And although she would never admit this to anyone else, she still secretly enjoyed the staring too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm probably not going to upload a new chapter that soon... I have to study lol.  
> If you're tired of 12-years-old Kieu My, don't worry. This was the last chapter with her haha!

**Author's Note:**

> I really liked season 6 of Druck but I wanted to tell the story from Kieu My's perspective. I will change some things because I did think they could have talked more.


End file.
